you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he thought i was a dude.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
