guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
