Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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