from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
