I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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