Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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