Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
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You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
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no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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