I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
