Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
love makes seman taste better
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
