Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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