I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
