Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
