i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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