Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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