This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
