Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
