It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Do vagina's smell?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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