Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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