There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
