Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
How drunk are you?
Completed.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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