I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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