What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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