And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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