the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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