yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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