please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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