Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
