i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
