Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Define "chronic" masturbator.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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