Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
