im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
