Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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