Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
