I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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