Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
