I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
