I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
