Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
She bit a glass in half.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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