i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
