I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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