what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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