so that wasnt chicken after all
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
