he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
