Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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