Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
