Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
