i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
