Whod you bang
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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