Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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