4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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