Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
