Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I pour the whiskey from now on
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
