he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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