Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
