we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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