I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
