i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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