you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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