i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Randomize
