your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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