So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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