i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
