windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
