Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
