If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
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