Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
