Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
